TikTok, An Access Letter & Our Invisible Enemy

It took a TikTok video to finally send me into tears.  TikTok.  The app I've grown to both love and hate.

Since March 11, when the pandemic showed it's ugly face in my community, it's been a non-stop rush to calmly inform, uncover and report facts to thousands of people who rely on me everyday.  Not fear-based, incorrect, shrill information.  Just the plain 'ole truth.  These days it takes some real thoughtfulness and digging to actually find it.  Needless to say, there really hasn't been a moment for me to stop to process what this all means.

Until I saw the 25 second TikTok..

I was home with my children.  Thankfully, they've been decently proactive about getting their schoolwork done.  It's going pretty well!  It took some adjusting in the first couple of days, but we're are trying for somewhat of a routine at this point.  Honestly, it's utter chaos! And that's okay.  But we are doing our best..  aren't we all?

Anyway, we were all home a couple nights ago, and I'd been rushing to update the growing number of people infected in our community with this invisible enemy.  My daughter came up to me, and excitedly said, "Mom! Look at the TikTok I made."

Thinking it would be one of these weird, viral dances their generation posts, I sluggishly looked away from my phone - to her phone- except this time, I was stunned.

Her post read, "My last year at Forest Park (elementary school), and I might not get to finish it 😢😢 I love you so much FP! Thank you for my great years here.."  The song lyrics "You Were Good To Me," accompanied photos of my sweetest girl with her best friends from the first day of school, until now.

Now.

What is "now" anyway?  This new reality, this new way of living, this new thing called "social-distancing."  This disruption and utter removal of all things we thought made life fun, worth living.  No March Madness.  Just a new madness.  Friends of ours now unemployed.  Friends with family in nursing facilities infected with thing we cannot see, hear, or touch - keeping us all from touching each other.  Her first day of school -living our old normal - up until now.

Her beautiful post showed me that the most basic, taken-for-granted things - as simple as the school bell every morning, daily friendships on the playground, a last school year at a beloved elementary - those things are gone for her.

The next day at the television station, I was given my "access letter" from the federal government in the event restrictions are placed or a lock down happens. This letter is to be kept in my car, I was told. It gives me (and every journalist) special permission to be out in the community if we are all quarantined.  It states I am "providing emergency communications and.... support to critical communications infrastructure facilities in response to: COVID-19 Declaration of National Emergency."

The TikTok + this letter stopped me long enough to grieve for a moment - to grieve the life I was living before March 11.

I still can't get my head around it all.  My heart is with every patient infected and their families.  It is with health care workers, risking everything they have to provide care. One thing I do know, is while we are apart, we actually need each other more than ever before.  No matter where we've been or how much we may disagree, now is the time for unity in our fight against an enemy that doesn't care who's side we're on.

I believe there is a light in the distance.  And it's going to shine brighter every day through this darkness.  But that light will need us to show how kind and caring we can really be right now.  It will need to see values that sweep past our differences, aiming to serve one another.  It will require vigilance over stupidity.  Persistence and patience through pain.  This virus really might be what unifies us.

I do believe one day soon, those TikTok dances I both love and hate will again be all over my daughter's feed and I won't need a letter to walk -or drive- the streets of the community I love.