Tuesday, January 3, 2017

New Year, New Me (blah blah blah)

All this new-year-new-me bs had me back in bed this morning after school drop-off.  It was just too much. 

Everyone's posts about their new diet, new workout regimen.  New plans to do better, be better, act better, try harder.  After all, happiness is just around the proverbial corner...

People are always being encouraged to change.    But then you hear that people don't ever really change.  So confusing.  I think it's freeing to think we can.  So, on January 1st and 2nd and 3rd and 4th, we work out, eat right, act nice, let go of last year, start anew. 

But then, here we sit.  With our same old selves.  Same old messes.  Same thoughts and feelings.  Same mistakes.  Same situations.

In life, even though so much changes,  it really stays the same, doesn't it?  

Maybe it comes down to the basics.  This moment.  The here and now...

Last year, I turned 45, which means I outlived my father, which I never thought I would do.  I now have a 10-year old boy and an 8-year old girl, when doctors told me 13 years ago, I would never have children.  Our little "fractured" family (i.e., divorced) is quite happy and healthy, despite hiccups here and there.  This, even though so many judged and shared unsolicited opinions and advice.   2016 brought a lot of love, a lot of comfort, a lot of monotonous routine, and no need for therapy (I'm possibly most thankful for this!). 

Our little pygmy miniature frog died.  He never had a name the entire year he was with us.  We buried him under the trampoline out back with a proper ceremony, thanking him for the fun he brought.

The children were old enough to understand the election.  Except when we told my daughter that there was a Democratic party, a Republican party, a Libertarian party and a Green party, her response was, "That is A LOT of parties to go to!  Am I invited?" I spit out my drink, I laughed so hard.  If only it were that simple......

Yes, I guess the election changed a lot. 

But so much stays the same.   Kiddos running for a hug every night when I get home from work.   Kisses at school drop-off, which in a short year or so will equal complete embarrassment for them.  This work I am so grateful to do:  5 p.m. and 6 p.m. defines my life every night.  The orphaned and foster children who need their voice.  Steady, constants.  Neither good nor bad.  It just is.

I think it comes down to the mini-frogs that die, the daily minutes that pass, the moments where we sit with ourselves, even if just for a few seconds.  Because in between all that we create the fabric of our lives.  The 'new me.'  The choice to pause and allow and be grateful for what is.  That choice is available every moment.  And that won't change. 

Cheers to you all!  Here's hoping I can keep up with writing this blog in 2017.  


  1. Dawn- I came across this quote shortly after I met you in ATL and it has helped me tremendously - your blog seems to be saying the same. "Life is amazing. And then it's awful.And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful."

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