"I Hate That Shirt"

Just when you get used to things being one way, they change all over again.


Like every night when we say bedtime prayers..  Our prayer goes like this:  "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to the Lord my soul to keep.  Keep me safely through the night, wake me when it's morning light. Amen."  We've memorized and recited that prayer nightly for many years.  Until the other night... 


Little-Miss-Independent paused before saying the "Amen" part, and she asked this:  "why in the world do we say 'wake me when it's morning light,' because when I wake up it's always dark?!"


I was speechless.  Had no answer for the 6-year old.


It's just what we do. It's what we've always done.   (I'm not ready for these questions)


Then, the other night we were at my friend's new, amazing restaurant Heights Taco & Tamale Co., and I was wearing jeans, sandals, and a grey Grateful Dead t-shirt (because despite my day-job, anyone who knows me knows I'm an old dead-head hippie at heart).  Well, my son had something to say about it. 


"I hate that shirt."


Okay since when did he have an opinion or even care what I'm wearing.   He's 8. 


Um, why, I ask?


"It's just ugly.  And it's not something moms should be wearing."


The banter went on... something about him cutting it up with scissors later in the night when I take it off.  He told his dad that moms should not be wearing things with skulls on them. 

About this time, the Dead's "Touch of Grey" began playing in the restaurant.  No joke, and had my friend Lee Edwards not reminded me of this, I would've forgotten.  Oh, the irony.  Or just a coincidence?


Anyway, I'm asking myself at this point if I should I dress like a nun in habit?!


I guess the point is:  it had been such a nice run of a couple years, with them repeating what I tell them to repeat; loving everything about their momma; and implicitly trusting everything mom says and does and even wears.  Now, they're asking questions about what they're asked to repeat.  And their brains are working, as they decipher their own likes and dislikes. 


I don't want it any other way.  I love every step, every stage of this journey.  I feel so privileged to be their mom and to watch it all unfold.  This is just another change, and when I get used to it, it'll all change again.  I hope I can accept every shift with grace...  In the meantime, I'm hiding the scissors.

Me (left) wearing the shirt in question with Ben Brainard & Sarah Fortner